The antediluvian columnist evidently wants Patterson to give the Kennedy heir more of a break than Thomas herself was willing to extend to Gov. Sarah Palin.

Can you say, “Typical liberal media hypocrite?” I knew you could!

- JP

Anyway, you be the judge. And, it’s a caption contest. Winner gets, well, I gotta run that one by Mrs908…

And no, the picture wasn’t taken in Nevada.

But you don’t have to shoot watermelons to make them explode. I’m talking here of a different kind of watermelon than the variety that are the old Marine’s favorite target. My target is the environmentalist watermelon - green on the outside and pink on the inside. Yes sir, those watermelons are even more fun when their heads explode than the garden variety. There are several ways to make them go “splat.” If you’re going to a New Year’s Eve party tonight, single out a watermelon and go to work on him. He should be easy to find. He will be loudly proclaiming the superiority of his Toyota Prius over any other car on the market.

Solar Power - Tell a melon that nitrogen trifluoride (NF3), which is used to treat titanium solar panels, may be 17,000 times worse than carbon dioxide in its contribution to global warming. Remember, you don’t have to believe in human-induced global warming. What’s important here is that he does. If that doesn’t make his head explode, inform him that the Kyoto Protocol, which is supposed to provide regulations for greenhouse gases, doesn’t say squat about protecting the environment from NF3. Splat!

Wind Power - Make a watermelon’s head explode with a few facts about wind power. The rotating blades on the big turbines are a threat to birds and bats. Between 10,000 and 40,000 birds may be killed each year at wind farms across the country - about 80% of which are songbirds, and 10% may be birds of prey, including federally-protected golden eagles, red-tail hawks and various species of other raptors. Bats are also subject to high mortality at wind farms frequently at considerably higher rates than birds.

With the big turbines, as with all man-made devices, FAIL is always an option:

Wind turbines also occasionally throw chunks of ice. If a watermelon tells you that is a myth, tell him about the four-hour ice shower this community experienced in October.

If all that isn’t enough to splatter the melon, tell him about Wind Turbine Syndrome. Remember, whether you believe that there are health and psychological effects from wind turbines doesn’t matter. It’s the watermelon’s belief system that determines the explosion and how far the chunks will fly.

Biomass Power - If your watermelon is a biomass freak, inform him that he would need 965 square miles of prime Iowa farmland to produce as much electricity from biomass as from a single nuclear power plant.

Hydroelectric Power - Say, “Sorry, melon man.” Man-made reservoirs convert CO2 in the atmosphere into methane. What’s wrong with that? Plenty. Methane’s effect on global warming (wink, wink; nudge, nudge) is 21 times stronger than that of carbon dioxide.

Hydrogen Power - Tell the watermelon that the process for extracting hydrogen may cause more pollution than gasoline-powered cars, because a great deal of energy is required to extract it from the molecules of water or hydrocarbons that bind the miracle gas. If that doesn’t make his head explode, tell him your source is Mother Jones magazine.

Hybrid Power - Save the best for last to use on Mr. Melonhead. Casually inform him that his vaunted Prius may get good gas mileage, but it leaves a substantial carbon footprint. The delicious irony is that it takes a lot of energy and icky chemicals to build hybrid vehicles. Recent research indicates that the process is more environmentally unfriendly than manufacturing conventional cars, vans and trucks. After you’ve shown him how his Prius isn’t saving the planet as much as he thought, get out of the way quickly to avoid being splattered with watermelon debris.

Enjoy the party, and have a happy fossil-fueled New Year!

- JP

More fun stuff here, and here for more race-baiting goodness - and, really, by this point the entire blogosphere, most of which is by now utterly fascinated at the prospect of actually getting to watch the big ship hit the iceberg. Has it been mentioned yet that Burris has been a long time Blagojevich donor? Or that Blagojevich’s General Counsel (not his personal attorney; the administration official) just quit? Or that both Reid and Obama are busily writing the GOP’s campaign ads in 2010 for us by their earnest, but quite likely toothless, opposition?

What a way to start the new year, huh?

Moe Lane

PS: Hey, you know what would have short-circuited all of this? A special election. Shame that Illinois Democrats don’t trust democracy, huh? I invite the voters of Illinois’ Fifth District particularly to keep that in mind, what with the special election there to replace Rahm Emanuel.

Before you ask: it’s only because the US Constitution requires a special election for vacant House seats: Article I, Section 2. Otherwise, Blago probably would have appointed his horse, or something.

I just located this site. It allows you to vote and give a comment why you support a particular candidate for the RNC chairmanship. You supply your name and zip code and your comments are sent to your state delegates who are members of the voting committee for the RNC. So this is your chance to be heard at the grassroots level. I support Michael Steele but all the others are listed so please let your voices be heard.

But you don’t have to shoot watermelons to make them explode. I’m talking here of a different kind of watermelon than the variety that are the old Marine’s victims of choice. My target is the environmentalist watermelon - green on the outside and pink on the inside. Yes sir, those watermelons are even more fun when their heads explode than the garden variety. There are several ways to make them go “splat.” If you’re going to a New Year’s Eve party tonight, single out a watermelon and go to work on him. He should be easy to find. He will be loudly proclaiming the superiority of his Toyota Prius over every other car on the road.

Solar Power - Tell a melon that nitrogen trifluoride (NF3), which is used to treat titanium solar panels, may be 17,000 times worse than carbon dioxide in its contribution to global warming. Remember, you don’t have to believe in human-induced global warming. What’s important here is that he does. If that doesn’t make his head explode, inform him that the Kyoto Protocol, which is supposed to provide regulations for greenhouse gases, doesn’t say squat about protecting the environment from NF3. Splat!

Wind Power - Make a watermelon’s head explode with a few facts about wind power. The rotating blades on the big turbines are a threat to birds and bats. Between 10,000 and 40,000 birds may be killed each year at wind farms across the country - about 80% of which are songbirds, and 10% may be birds of prey, including federally-protected golden eagles, red-tail hawks and various species of other raptors. Bats are also subject to high mortality at wind farms frequently at considerably higher rates than birds.

With the big turbines, as with all man-made devices, FAIL is always an option:

Wind turbines also occasionally throw chunks of ice. If a watermelon tells you that is a myth, tell him about the four-hour ice storm this community was subjected to in October, no thanks to a wind turbine.

If all that isn’t enough to splatter the melon, tell him about Wind Turbine Syndrome. Remember, whether you believe that there are health and psychological effects from wind turbines doesn’t matter. It’s the watermelon’s belief system that causes the explosion and determines how far the chunks will fly.

Biomass Power - If your watermelon is a biomass freak, inform him that he would need 965 square miles of prime Iowa farmland to produce as much electricity from biomass as from a single nuclear power plant.

Hydroelectric Power - Say, “Sorry, melon man.” Man-made reservoirs convert CO2 in the atmosphere into methane. What’s wrong with that? Plenty. Methane’s effect on global warming (wink, wink; nudge, nudge) is 21 times stronger than that of carbon dioxide.

Hydrogen Power - Tell the watermelon that the process for extracting hydrogen may cause more pollution than gasoline-powered cars, because a great deal of energy is required to extract it from the molecules of water or hydrocarbons that bind the miracle gas. If that doesn’t make his head explode, tell him your source is Mother Jones magazine.

Hybrid Power - Save the best for last to use on Mr. Melonhead. Casually inform him that his vaunted Prius may get good gas mileage, but it leaves a substantial carbon footprint. The delicious irony is that it takes a lot of energy and icky chemicals to build hybrid vehicles. Recent research indicates that the process is more environmentally unfriendly than manufacturing conventional cars, vans and trucks. After you’ve shown him how his Prius isn’t saving the planet as much as he thought, get out of the way quickly to avoid being splattered with watermelon debris.

Enjoy the party, and have a happy fossil-fueled New Year!

- JP

Anyway, you be the judge. And, it’s a caption contest. Winner gets, well, I gotta run that one by Mrs908…
<img src=”” alt=”juice” />

And no, the picture wasn’t taken in Nevada.

A couple of years ago certain retailers chose not to promote Christmas, and to promote the homosexual agenda instead.  In return I, along with a number of others, chose not to spend our money at those retailers.  When I approached my family with this they decided that it wasn’t going to hurt for them to shop at these stores, but they would sit and condemn these retailers in the company of others.  They decided that it was too much of an interference on their lives to find someplace else to shop.  “What will you do when they all decide to do that” they would ask.  As a result of the vast numbers of dollars being lost by these retail outlets they decided to resend their decision and stay neutral in political issues.

Last December McDonald’s Corporation decided to begin supporting the homosexual agenda, and again I with a vast majority of people chose not to give them our business.  As a result they said that they will not renew their membership for this coming year in the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC).  During the course of this year my family’s argument for their continued patronage of the McDonald’s foodchain was that their “measly dollar isn’t going to help or hurt anyone. What will you do when they all decide to do that” they would ask.  I wonder how many “measly” dollars they spent over the year, multiplied by all the other “measly” dollars of people  who share the same opinion.

Now, PepsiCo. is up to the same tricks.  Apparently they haven’t learned from the mistakes of the others.  And I have chose not to give any business to Pepsi.  My family, just tonight, as we spend New Year’s Eve together as we always do, could have went a block more to a place that sales Coke products, but that would have put them out too much.  They chose instead to make the argument that “it won’t hurt to drink a bottle of Pepsi ever once in a while.  What will you do when they all decide to do that” they would ask.

This time I choose to call HYPOCRITE! on them all, and to all of those who give lip service to their beliefs but won’t make nary a sacrifice in support of them.  Heaven forbid that you go without your precious BigMac and opt for a Whopper instead.  Oh, the untold horrors of having to drink something other than your sacred Pepsi! Let’s not pass up that great sale their having down at that retail outlet either - probably on a case of Pepsi!  I have a question for all of you so-called Christians out there - hypothetically speaking, not that it could EVER happen, but what will you do when after none of you has stood up against the evils of this world (because it was too much of a sacrafice) that they start forcing these things upon us?  I mean realy force them as to make it illegal to oppose any of it.  That could never happen, right? WRONG!  It’s happening now, but the hipocrites can’t see past their own self rightousness.  Don’t lift a finger, I wouldn’t want you to put yourselves out or anything.  I understand that it may be too much of a strain on you to do the right thing!  It’s okay though, I guess you can go to the altar and ask forgiveness because none of us are perfect right?  Or perhaps tithing will be enough to let you sleep at night.  Maybe just going to your father confessor or pastor will take care of that nagging little conscience.  Whatever it is that you’ve been doing just keep right on doing it.  But, it seems that I read someplace where it said “by their fruits ye shall know them” or something like that.  Where did I read that….I wonder.

Congratulations on your re-election Governor. Your 92%-8% landslide victory is an all-time record. Meanwhile the Alaskan economy is humming along as oil revenues are up due to demand from abroad. Premier Obama’s decision to force the country to stop using fossil fuels have paid off nicely for you. Premier Obama’s approval rating now stands at 3, as in 3 people … him, Michelle, and Joe Biden.

The Republican party has taken over control of Congress after the most recent election … they now have a 77-23 advantage in the Senate, where Al Franken has been named minority leader and Robert Byrd minority whip. In the House the GOP now controls 350 seats and Nancy Pelosi has retired to her non-union winery.

The United States has faced many problems since your bid to become the first female Vice President fell short. After destroying the military Premier Obama has hired the French navy to patrol U.S. coasts as Somali pirates continue to hold fisherman for ransom in the Delaware bay. The Big 3 in Detroit have new CEOs, they are William Ayars, Rev. Wright and Chris Dodd.

Premier Obama is facing a tough bid for the nomination of the Communist-Farmers-Socialist-Teacher’s Union-Democratic Party. His challengers include Ron Paul, Hillary Clinton and Matt Damon. He is hampered by the 15% unemployment rate and the 22% rate of inflation. His decision to allow Al-Qaeda to open an embassy in Obamapolis (formerly known as Washington D.C.) has not worked out, terrorist attacks are up 78% since this decision. Secretary of the Treasury Jon Corzine has not been able to fix the printing press as his continued bailouts have had little impact on the struggling economy. The new head of AIG, Barney Frank is forecasting a loss for 2011 and is considering firing his secretary (only remaining employee) to save money.

The new majority leader in the Senate, Jim Demint is already proposing legislation that will kill the National Health Department which is scheduled for a $567,000,000,000 deficit for the next fiscal year. Rolling blackouts throughout the country have the American people looking for reliable sources of energy … they look to Alaska to supply it. The new Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan is ready to push massive tax cuts that will drop the top rate from 99% to 15% and encourage massive economic growth. However, Premier Obama has ordered his praetorian guard (under the command of John McCain) to imprison any member of Congress who would propose such legislation. All monuments and pictures of former President Ronald Reagan have been taken down and any mention of his name will lead to a stay at GITMO, which has now been transformed into a “re-education camp” run by the NJ teacher’s union.

To help pay off the national debt, Premier Obama has given Mississippi and Alabama to Hugo Chavez in exchange that Chavez promises not to destroy our two remaining F-16s and one aircraft carrier. Canada has taken control of Maine and Vermont after Obama promised to redeploy troops to Chicago.

Governor Palin,
Will you save the Republic?

JR@ Conservatives4palin.com